My Blog

The temperamental old bag at reception has managed to grate my nerves again this morning. She seems to think that old age gives one authority on all aspects of life and she often dishes out unwanted advise on how we "young people" should be conducting ourselves. While I can pretty much put up with the rantings of old people teetering on the brink of senility, this one is proving to be quite difficult to tolerate.

I arrive in the office, rushing as always because it was nearly nine AM and my body was craving for its daily caffeine hit. I was already cranky and in no mood to place nice. Anyway, this old bird looked up as I came in and with a big frown squawked:

"Up to no good, are we?"

Understandably, there’s been a few stories being passed around since that "initial contact" with someone I will not mention here. Still, I didn’t think I had done anything wrong. And I certainly didn’t think it was anyone’s business what I did in my private life.

"Probably, but then again, it’s not as if I slip in a few glasses of wine during my lunch break like some people do. " I smiled jovially at her. Hooh, there’ll be hell to pay for that little retort. Whatever.

Very seldom do I question my judgement when it comes to my work. Whenever I’m backed into a corner or placed under extreme stress, that’s when I come up with my best ideas. Anger, you can say, makes me almost brilliant. Now I am a generally agreeable person but I’m pretty proud of the fact that I can be a bitch when I’m called to be.

But when it comes to making decisions for people I deeply care about, I am a total mess. My ability to blur the lines of what is wrong and right scares me. I can see the boundaries but my emotions push me to overstep it. The emotions I use to my full advantage in my profession proves to be my weakness in my private life. If I can smell the slightest hint of BS from a stranger, how come I can’t be as wise when dealing with someone I know and love? Am I really unaware of it or do I deliberately choose to ignore it because deep down I know I’m a real wuss and can’t deal with it?

What the heck. It’s worth it.

Spring is here. This season is always very important to me, most obviously because I hate winter with a passion (although the chance to wear my favorite knee-high black leather boots makes it somehow bearable). But the start of the warm weather for me always comes with the dreaded rider’s bum.

This afternoon I had to get my fat brat of a horse Windy out of her winter hiatus and get her to work off the weight she had gained during those months non-stop grazing. She wasn’t very happy when I started to saddle her up and I could tell she was looking forward to this exercise as much as I was. Anyway, one and a half hours later, after a lot of tugging, prodding, pleading, swearing, and bruising on my part, Windy finally remembered who the boss between the two of us was. I must admit, I absolutely adore her feistiness. If Windy was human, she’d probably be the friend I’d go to see and have a bitching session over coffee. So in spite of the fact that I am now sitting on little bags of ice to soothe my bruised bottom, I can’t help but think happy thoughts of the next 5 months with my favorite grand lady.

A long lost soul mate found. Just when you feel like you’re slowly drowning in the drudgery of your existence, life throws you a lifeline. Suddenly, I find that it’s easier to smile.

What makes someone a soul mate? Is it the way the person magnifies every emotion you have? Like when every little joy you share with that person becomes a moment for celebration? Or when every hurt they cause feels like death? Whatever it is, you know you feel more alive when they are with you.

Thank you, my very special friend.