Cranky and culdn’t care less
The temperamental old bag at reception has managed to grate my nerves again this morning. She seems to think that old age gives one authority on all aspects of life and she often dishes out unwanted advise on how we "young people" should be conducting ourselves. While I can pretty much put up with the rantings of old people teetering on the brink of senility, this one is proving to be quite difficult to tolerate.
I arrive in the office, rushing as always because it was nearly nine AM and my body was craving for its daily caffeine hit. I was already cranky and in no mood to place nice. Anyway, this old bird looked up as I came in and with a big frown squawked:
"Up to no good, are we?"
Understandably, there’s been a few stories being passed around since that "initial contact" with someone I will not mention here. Still, I didn’t think I had done anything wrong. And I certainly didn’t think it was anyone’s business what I did in my private life.
"Probably, but then again, it’s not as if I slip in a few glasses of wine during my lunch break like some people do. " I smiled jovially at her. Hooh, there’ll be hell to pay for that little retort. Whatever.
Very seldom do I question my judgement when it comes to my work. Whenever I’m backed into a corner or placed under extreme stress, that’s when I come up with my best ideas. Anger, you can say, makes me almost brilliant. Now I am a generally agreeable person but I’m pretty proud of the fact that I can be a bitch when I’m called to be.
But when it comes to making decisions for people I deeply care about, I am a total mess. My ability to blur the lines of what is wrong and right scares me. I can see the boundaries but my emotions push me to overstep it. The emotions I use to my full advantage in my profession proves to be my weakness in my private life. If I can smell the slightest hint of BS from a stranger, how come I can’t be as wise when dealing with someone I know and love? Am I really unaware of it or do I deliberately choose to ignore it because deep down I know I’m a real wuss and can’t deal with it?
What the heck. It’s worth it.
